Sick to the CORE

How sick can one be... I'm totally mentally sick to the core... how this whole world is so disgustingly sick to the core.... I don't wish to be torture any more... all I wanted is some peace and quiet... stop sending someone who has been my friend all the time and turn around and express his interest to woo me!~!~ At this state, I'm in???!~!~ Tell me all those love crap which I always preaches... Yes I know all those bully shit... but please leave me in peace... I have enought of such crap from men... I thought well it was just my luck to have met such a irresponsible and selfish person... but to happen twice!~!~ This is CRAZY!~~!~ I'm JINXed or what?? And, to believe in another man again. NO WAY!~!~ I must be INSANE!~!~ to have believe again. What if all men are really like that?? Cold- hearted creature that switch their feeling on and off, as and when they feel like it... won't give a damn that the one you have left bleeding slowly to death is the one you once loved?

I just want my heart to be quiet down... let my life be focus in another new direction... all these r/s stuff are just killing me way too fast... I'm like a moth been burned alive by my own stupidility- who ask me to fly towards the light?? Stay in the dark and you won't have been killed!

I belong to the dark.... stop asking me to walk towards the light and have me killed!!~ I'm begging GOD to spare this little energy that I have left to be friends with you all... JUst friends will do... I will be happier... stop asking me to walk with you all anymore..... I have enough wound to last me a life time... please do not try to rob away that little energy I draw from you all as friends to keep me SANE!~! Its already very hard to walk around without a heart and feeling...

I want to be alone from now and forever...